Published in The Healing Springs Journal, Issue #16, Dec.04/Jan.05.
The
Healing Springs Journal is an independent publication committed to
printing articles regarding the wellness of body, mind, spirit, and
environment. The Healing Springs is distributed in the New York Capital
District, Saranac Lake and everywhere in between.
WHAT DOES YOUR “MAP OF THE WORLD” LOOK LIKE?
by Belinda Nicoll
Have you ever been “stuck” in a dysfunctional situation, habit, or
relationship? You absolutely know that you have to get out of it for
your own good, but somehow you’re just not able to respond to the
warning signals! If you relate to the paralyzing effect of this
mysterious condition, then you know how often it prevents us from
making the positive behavior changes required for creating a more
fulfilling and meaningful life. Being “stuck” has become a universal
catchphrase for describing one’s inability to transition from a problem
state to a solution state. The good news is that becoming “unstuck” is
no great mystery at all, according to the relatively new science
of
neurolinguistic programming, or NLP.
NLP was developed in the early 1970’s by John Grinder and Richard
Bandler, who shared a mutual interest in the art and science of
personal excellence. Their objective was to create a practical method
for understanding and transforming human behavior. They believed it was
possible to imitate the behavior patterns of successful people and make
their unique thought and behavior processes transferable to other
people. Their earlier efforts resulted in modelling techniques that
gave others the opportunity to create successful outcomes too.
Ultimately, Grinder and Bandler managed to produce an elegant
therapeutic model that explains the structure of subjective experience.
At the base of this model is a set of presuppositions that form the
essence of NLP.
Presuppositions—also called “maps of the world”— are subconscious
assumptions that we hold about ourselves and the world we live in.
These assumptions are the principles or beliefs that guide our
thoughts, communication, emotions, and behavior. Presuppositions help
us to make sense of our experiences. The following are some of the most
important presuppositions of NLP that explain how it is possible to
become “unstuck” and move easily from where you find yourself to where
you truly want to be.
The map is not the territory.
The reality that you experience—that you create—is the result of
your physical and genetic design and your unique personal history.
Whenever you act, you respond to your map of reality, not to reality
itself. Your map contains certain possibilities and capabilities
available to you at any given time. It follows that if you had to
change your map, and expand the choices available to you, it would be
possible to change your behavior.
The meaning of your communication is the response that you get.
Communication is not what you intend to say. Rather, it’s the response
that you get from your listeners. You are always communicating. Using
verbal and body language, you apply all three major representational
systems—visual, auditory, and kinesthetic—to tell people about
yourself, all the time. Human interactions form a cybernetic system,
and communication evolves continuously by way of systemic feedback
loops. The benefit is that if you don’t like the feedback you get, you
can always change your behavior until you get the response you want.
Remember, there’s no such thing as failure, only feedback.
You work perfectly and have all the resources you need.
You do not have to be “fixed” or “corrected”, because you’re not
wrong or broken. However, if you understand how your thought and
behavior processes operate, you can improve your skill at accessing
these internal resources at appropriate times so that you can act more
effectively to achieve positive outcomes.
Your behavior has a positive intention.
No matter how strange, hurtful, or inadequate it may seem to
others—or even to yourself—your behavior is appropriate within the
context in which you created it. You are doing the best you can do with
the resources available to you, or you’re doing what you’re doing
because your believe it is right. In view of that, it would be
more
productive for all of us to respond to the intention behind behavior
rather than the apparent outward expression of it.
As a life coach and master practitioner of NLP, I want to emphasize
the importance of this last presupposition. The positive intention of
behavior resides at a deep structure level of the psyche. When you
change a problem state and move toward healing, it is crucial that you
find the core intention that supports the problem behavior. You will
only be able to sustain your new healing state when you find a positive
alternative behavior that continues to support the positive intention.
Here is an example: imagine that your problem state is a phobia of
public speaking. You discover that the positive intention of your
irrational fear to speak in public is a desire to protect yourself from
ridicule. An alternative way to protect yourself from ridicule might be
by adopting a bold attitude. Since a bold attitude is a healthier state
than irrational fear is, this would be a sensible exchange. Using a
cross-mapping NLP technique, you can replace the submodalities that
represent “phobia” with the submodalities that represent “bold
attitude”. Once these are in place, there are truly no obstacles to you
achieving your desired outcome of being a confident, successful
speaker.
By recognizing and separating positive intentions from behaviors,
you can quickly change your map of the world in very significant ways.
Good luck to becoming “unstuck” successfully!
Belinda Nicoll is a life coach and a master practitioner of
neurolinguistic programming (NLP). She is lives in Saratoga Springs,
NY. Belinda combines the benefits of NLP with life coaching to help
anyone who is interested in making rapid and effective change move from
where they find themselves, to where they truly want to be.